#348...Pingu :)

My brother told me this story of how he watched some documentary recently about a scientific study based on the migration of penguins and how they used two different things to monitor their movements — a chip and a yellow tag. Turns out for some unknown reason the penguins with the yellow tags are having a harder time finding their mates as oppose to the penguins with a chip in them.

And I did asked my friend about this,  Don’t penguins mate for life?

My friend said, I think so. -__-**

I can only imagine what it’s like being that penguin with the yellow tag. Sometimes I think I just might be that penguin with the yellow tag.



JieJah's Say...Some random stuff last nite

#238... The wonderful flaws you could have

I don't know about all of you out there
life to many of us come in different forms
mine..just an ordinary
maybe yours its extraordinary

Today i wanna share something a bit personnel
some of you know me since me secondary or during ma sobers years in University
or currently u meet me daily in the office

As some people saw ma transformation
from free hair to the current one with a scarf
but honestly I'm still like before..
wearing scarf it just something personnel that happen in seconds
"how great AL-Mighty are," and how grateful I'm to receive this from HIM
 
Although I'm wearing scarf i did not change rapidly
yes, thru that not all can accepted me
but to my certain friend will say...
like one of my bff said.."laser and outspoken you, g mane nak buang,"

Yes!! i admit that is me..
and I'm proud of Who I'm now
i much open than before
i wear that fit me
plus i learn to love ma own skin better
and I'm proud and  love ma own skin..get it!

Look,
To people out there
if you read this..

"Don't be a hypocrite, don't make excuse working is the lame reason why you have to wear the scarf or I'm working at government sector, or My big boss is wearing a hijab that why i have to wear it too..," 

To me,

Be as you are that is the most important thing
Remember "whats goes around do come around," Hahhhaaa!
and to me working place is the place of you "mencari rezeki," Remember that!

Honestly,
I don't respect you at all
you don't earn it
as much maybe some people can accepted you
go on..I don't care i have ma own life to live.

On top of that,

at this time around i honestly don't care anymore!
what you or they wanna say about me
i'm just doing ma job and make sure what being tasked for is Done in perfect color ..

what you or them wanna think or comment about ma dressing
i'm in love with ma body now compared ma sober years, i wanna feel sexy in every way but in appropriate way..Plus I'm a normal gurl with a huge desire..you longkang ada ker?

attitudes from you or them wanna try to broke ma heart again?
yes, i have to admit that i will emo about it, but nowaday this thing grow me in wiser way especially dealing with things that make me sad.. Plus i have better things to settle like ma MUM 
is more important than you or them..


To many thing happen that make me sad, but it doesn't stop ma life to go on as Al-Mighty guide thru everyday. I believe in Karma, 
"Whats goes around always comes around,"...so Maybe soon its your turn..? Only God know!





JieJah's Say...

This post its just something random
tidak ada kena mengena sama ada hidup atau yang mati

I read this and i wanna share this with all of you
"Everyone edits themselves here, and it makes me wonder whether you're ever actually connected to real people, or just the people they all wish they were," Plus i'm in Love with this women..sgt gorgessss!!!

This we call as BEAUTIFUL :)

#222.....It will be alright, I promise.

Remedies for sleepless or disappointment heart


Write. Wrap yourself up in a blanket, grab a notebook and a pen and write until your hand hurts. Write about what’s on your mind and why it’s bothering you. Just getting things out in a completely uncensored way can be incredibly therapeutic. I say uncensored because you’re speaking to paper and, more importantly, to yourself. So you don’t want to worry about how you phrase things or if they would make sense to anyone else. You just let it all out.

Go for a walk. Get out of the house and get some physical activity. Simply moving will help you to feel better, and is infinitely better than staying at home curled up in a ball and wallowing in your misery. While you’re walking really look around you. Look at the sky and appreciate the way the clouds delicately move across the blue canvas. Look at the people passing by and remember that you aren’t alone, they are probably hurting in their own way too. Just soak in your surroundings and, as much as possible, appreciate the beauty in it all.

Hang out with close friends. You don’t have to talk about why you’re upset, maybe you just need to discuss movies and music and school to get your mind off matters. The remedial powers of laughing with people that you love and who love you can totally transform your heart. Never underestimate how much better you can feel after spending some time in the company of good friends.

Drink tea. If you’re anxious, it will calm you. If you’re sad, it will comfort you. Tea has the remarkable ability to cheer people up and is nearly like a warm, liquid hug. As it trickles down your throat and begins to warm your whole body you might just find your heart being warmed too.


JieJah's Say...wanna make a hot mango tea :) yummy

#206.. Pink October fest

Today i wanna to inform about this awareness
this month its a breast awareness campaign..
me wanna share because i care
me share because i been thru that before
Yes its only a sis but the pain and emotional roller coaster
only god know,

how much pain its involve especially been dumb
by a cruel man at that point of life..
but i wake up and i became who I'm now
feel much alive
feel much more worth it

and at the end it not the cancer at all
but as what the doctor tell me

"Early detection helps,"

yes, I'm agree with that and I'm elated
that I'm here still breathing and surrounded with people
that care and love me endlessly...

The campaign that caught ma eyes is yesterday newspaper
Sultan Abdul Samad building and Mid Valley colored in Pink
Its a cool idea to do that
i got some picture to share it with you as well...
and on top of that if all of you do read cleo magazine
CLEO magazine, the best selling English language women’s magazine had launched
an online breast cancer awareness video starring CLEO’s Most Eligible Bachelor 2009
Henry Golding, the Breast-man...aka the yummy man..
everyone know what is this campaign its all about
but do you especially gurl out there
spend at least 15 minute to self examined your breast
trust me its easy!
or you can ask your husband aka yer lover to examined it for you..
(Ini untuk yang sudah berkahwin sahaja, Noted with Thanks!)

LOL!

Jiejah says...

Early detection saves your life and since yesterday i can't upload any pic will upload a pic soon from home.. ;))

#79...Picture Polaroid

This pass few days,

Honestly its kinda emotional experiences. I guess the transition of getting older -__-"" and without i realized it did effect the playlist in the Mp3. My current obsession of music its from The Fray (acoustic@Live), Yuna, Coldplay, Vertical Horizon, Sheila On 7, John Legend, PeterPan, Jack Jackson, Drake, John Walker...and some other genre but as i realized its funny as I'm not only into the love song, but the emotional song as well especially that touch me that can remind us of past, to present and future. However there one particular song that touch me in few ways and its taken fom Yuna song - Polaroid.. It Had make me think and reminisce on my life in many way.

Especially on this chorus,

I'm calculating what's left inside me
When everything I left were my life and my dreams
And every time you were proud of what you were not
This is the truth and it'll be a history

and this part as well...

I wonder what went wrong, it became like this
when I'm not pretty sure (No, I'm not pretty sure)
After all the crossings we've been through,
it's not suppose to be like this. Why?
And every time you're fucking proud of what you're not
I hate the truth but still it'll be a history

**It trigger me to tell you the story of emotional experience**

The Past

To some maybe its easy to forget or ignoring the pieces that been left for us to go on. My past teach me who i am now, from attitudes, relationships, friendship, famile and etc. In some way i learned in very hard way, and i do Thank All Mighty for that experience - such an eye opener. To the close ones knows me, Thank you for being with me and kept me on the ground. The lost of people make me grow more faster than i expected. From famile to a lover it make me realized that we should cherish them every second that we have, as we all know we can't predict when All Mighty will take this away from us as quote "Ajal, Maut , Jodoh semuanya di Tangan Tuhan". That part make me mature in different level, especially it take me sometime to be in relationship till i meet ma mon petite ami. Another part of past that i realized is friendship, a good fren did mention to me before good fren will stick in any situation nor condition. Back then i did not realized but in certain way i think its true. Ouch! all this came from a sick mind of a moon face. So chill peeps..

The Present
Now, thru work experience i meet many type of people that we can lease expect or can expect. hahaha! Story of life..Many tend to proof something they are not..more to become a hypocrite. Which is sickening to deal with them on daily basis. Especially to this type that always think they are right, Haiyo!!! I have no word to describe this people. From a customer service based, to business development and now in marketing...i learned many thing. Yippie! Knowledge like service area, custom for clearance, currier, to beauty line and now in automotive make me enthusiastic. Taken from ma boss used to describe me, Hahahahhha! especially this moon girl don't have any experience in automotive at all with a open hand they excepted me and guide me thru all the way until now. As for me I'm truly elated! Thank you to you.


Friendship wise, honestly there up and down like a roller coaster ride, with recent heartache experience make me feel numb in that department. Please don't get me wrong as I'm only expressing what i think and feels. Truly unfair experience, but i accept it as we all call it Life experience.
Relationship, I'm happy and Thankful....and hoping many more to come as it will grow us together.
 
The Future

I'm such a freaking day dreamer, The good thing now...all in positive move
**wish and with a lot's of doa i hope it will come true.**









............I will left it blank as it a long way to go.Will update more in the future.


Till then, Cheers...Jiejah.

#68...ART FOR AN UNBORN CHILD

Naomi Kasumi’s art career grew out of the intense grief of an abortion

BY BOB KEEFER

The Register-Guard

Appeared in print: Thursday, Feb 4, 2010

Naomi Kasumi has long been a friend of obsession.

She arranges the dinner plates in her dishwasher by color. Knives, forks and spoons each go in their own separate baskets. Even though the recycling could all be placed in one bin at her home in Seattle, she sorts paper, plastic, cans and bottles separately.

Her music CDs are arranged alphabetically. Her office files are color coordinated. She loves the television detective show “Monk.”

“Oh, Mr. Monk, I understand him so much!” she says. “It’s funny to see somebody like him in action, but it’s almost a mirror image of me when I reflect on what I am doing. Well, I’d call myself ‘Ms. Monk.’ ”

Kasumi is not only obsessed; she is utterly driven. Before becoming an artist, she was a professional downhill ski racer in Japan and once had dreams of the winter Olympics. She is a certified scuba dive master. She spent years studying music and is accomplished on the electronic keyboard, accordion and drums.

It provoked strong parental disapproval for her to abandon music as a career in favor of skiing, and even more disapproval when she decided to move into art.

“That’s indulgence, not a real job,” her parents told her.

Obsession runs deeper in Kasumi’s life than just arranging dinner plates and CDs. For 12 years now, she has been obsessed with an abortion she had. The resulting grief, amplified by her persevering nature, has grown into a series of art installations and, finally, a successful art career.

One of those installations is on view through Feb. 12 at Maude Kerns Art Center.

The whole thing began with an unexpected pregnancy in 1998.

Kasumi, who had grown up in Japan, was in New York when she discovered she was pregnant. After a period of struggle, she chose to have an abortion as the most responsible course of action.

She didn’t count on the intense grief that followed, grief that was compounded by a breakup with her unfaithful boyfriend.

“I was very suicidal,” says Kasumi, who at age 39 is now an associate professor of art at Seattle University. She got her bachelor’s of fine arts and master’s of fine arts degrees at the University of Oregon. “I was very depressed. I was emotionally stuck. I couldn’t focus. I am so sad every day. I don’t have an appetite. Somehow, I wasn’t there.”

In Japan, she says, abortion is legally acceptable but socially taboo. She didn’t tell her parents of her abortion. (They would learn of it years later by reading a newspaper review of one of her exhibitions.) She could never find the right moment to bring it up.

“I am going to school every day,” she says of that dark period in her life. “I never skipped school. But somehow, I wasn’t there. My body could do something, but my mind wasn’t really there. I’m not sure where I was.”

Her obsessive behavior increased. Repetition became a refuge.

“I would just keep doing thousands and thousands of the same thing, again and again and again,” she says. “And I didn’t feel anything.”

One day, she began typing a poem on a sheet of paper. Just a few lines. She yanked out the paper, crumpled it up and typed the same poem again on a new sheet.

“I did thousands of them. I would take them out from the typewriter and crumple them, make a ball out of the paper and throw it into the room. I would keep doing that every day, every night, the same thing. The same poem. Exactly the same lines.”

He stopped writing me a letter

He stopped calling me

Instead

He started lying to me all the time

He started meeting her at night

He started sleeping with her

She sent me flowers with a note

She said “this is for your unborn child.”

“I realized one day, there are so many paper balls in my apartment. I realized, ‘What am I going to do with all these balls?’ ”

She began to gather them up and then uncrumple them, thousands of individual sheets of paper, piling one sheet onto another.

“And then I made an exhibition out of it,” she says. “That’s when I began to become myself.”

She turned those thousands of typed poems into an art installation at Maude Kerns, carpeting a gallery floor with poems so people could take off their shoes and walk on them. It was one of the first in an ongoing series of memorials to her absent child.

“That was the beginning, really, of installations for me,” she says. “And then I started working those tremendous amounts of numbers, always. I kept doing the same thing again and again and again.”

Another installation, which she worked on in 2004, required her to blow the contents out of 5,000 eggs. She worked at a UO cafeteria, opening eggs by the dozen and blowing the contents into a bowl to be used for baking or for scrambled eggs. Then she would take home the empty shells.

“They started calling me ‘egg lady,’ ” she says. “Every week I did 200 eggs. Dripping out the content is exactly the same thing as doctors do, the abortion clinic doctors do.”

Over the years, Kasumi has made nine memorial exhibitions to her lost baby, each of them an installation grounded in obsessive repetition. She is working on a 10th. She has named the aborted child — she is sure to this day it was a boy — Shion (“SHE-on”), after a Japanese wildflower.

The seventh memorial in the series, titled “MEM: memory.memorial no. 7 scriptorium,” is on exhibit at Maude Kerns through Feb. 12. Today, Kasumi will be in Eugene and give a free talk at the center about the role of ritual in her art. It will be from 7 p.m. until 8:30 p.m.

Like many of her works, going back to those thousands of typed poems, memorial no. 7 is grounded in book arts as well as installation. Consisting of nine vertical hanging banners, it memorializes the progress of her absent child’s growth. “I am imagining my baby is growing with me,” she says. “The scale of my art pieces keeps getting bigger and bigger.”

Kasumi made No. 7 from thousands and thousands of used teabags. “The number is less than the egg project but the process took longer,” she says, “because the collection of teabags takes longer than eggs. You cannot collect 200 teabags in a week. I needed to drink tea, every night. That was my ritual. Every time I drink tea, I always think about the process of making art.”

She took the used teabags, with their infinite variation in color and tone, and dried them, discarding the damp tea, the staples and labels and strings. Then she laminated three teabags together using beeswax to make small pages. Some panels contain music. Kasumi would like to imagine Shion as a musician.

Her work has been exhibited mostly in the Northwest, but she also has shown in Osaka, Japan, and at Brenau University, a small women’s college in Georgia. Not surprisingly, it’s often evoked strong feelings from viewers and even from nonviewers.

When she did her BFA show here in Eugene, she included some official medical documents about the abortion. University officials called her in after the opening and suggested she might black out the names of medical professionals because of the possibility of violence against them.

“I decided to take all the books I had made and start blocking out the names with black tape,” she says. “I block everything, not just the name of the nurse and the doctor. Those books became very powerful.”

In Georgia, a radio reporter who would not see the show attacked her on the air.

“She didn’t even come to the exhibition,” Kasumi says. “I was a little bit upset. If she saw my artwork and saw my artist’s statement maybe she didn’t speak that way.”

Other reviewers have been sympathetic. At one of her exhibitions at the UO, a man saw her sitting in the corner.

“He didn’t say anything,” she says, “except ‘Thank you so much.’ But he come to me with tears. My art suggests it is OK to remember. It is OK to cry. It is OK to share.”

The abortion and her subsequent grief have, in fact, made Kasumi a successful artist.

“(It) really transformed me as an installation artist,” she says. “My art changed dramatically from two-D, flat, to three-D, space, and four-D, time-based art. … I am challenging (myself) now to go beyond five dimensions: psychologically, philosophically and anthropologically.”

It led to her being hired at Seattle University, a Catholic institution, giving her a steady income from making art that would have little or no chance of being sold commercially. It gave her U.S. immigration status as “an alien of extraordinarily ability as an artist,” a ponderous title that makes her laugh.

She is reconciled with her parents, who at last approve of her career.

And she fondly remembers her baby.

“Shion gave up his life for his mother, and he is living inside his mother still to tell his story publicly,” she says. “Maybe I am just a medium. If so, I am content.”